We're Expecting!

As we start to approach 30, all of our friends and acquaintances are making all these life changes; buying houses, getting promotions, having babies, etc. Well we did it, we said we never would (it's just not our thing), but we did, we drank the water, and WE'RE EXPECTING! 

Our HOUSE should be finished mid-December, just in time for Christmas! 😃 Gotcha! We signed the paperwork last Saturday and they started clearing our land today. We've been praying about this for years, and while it will be hard to move away from the comforts of the city (and our church), we are ready for the country life! I'll be posting more updates as they come. 

Good in the World

Today was a very emotional day in many ways. We had our annual back-to-school convocation this morning that was preceded with a wonderful catered breakfast. I was pumped, well as pumped as you can be for school to start and having to get up early again. (If you don't want the details of my day, skip to the last paragraph)

Then I got one of the worst texts I've gotten in a LONG time. "Heather is in labor. Pray for my girls." Heather is a really good friend of mine, one of my best friends, and she was only 23 weeks along in her (pretty perfect) pregnancy. You always think you're going to be strong in moments like these but...Immediately the very crowded high school lunch room seemed a million miles away. My hands started shaking, and almost instantly I started crying. I don't cry. All my co-workers gathered around me and one of them offered to pray. When they say there's no prayer in public school anymore, they lie, cause this morning there was tons of praying going on! 

I debated leaving the convocation right then to go be with my friend, but for some reason God told me to stay. The speaker of the day was Scott Burrows (I HIGHLY encourage you to look him up), a quadriplegic who gave a WONDERFUL speech about vision, mindset, and grit. It was empowering! The best way to start the year. And to be honest I was only have listening, only half "there" so it was probably even better than what I experienced. Toward the end of his speech, Scott STOOD UP and walked around the stage defining all odds and proving that if we have the vision, mindset, and grit, we can do anything! I cried.

After the convocation I was going to leave and head to the hospital but again God told me to stay. During our meeting at our own campus I was reminded again and again how we are a family and we were put together for a reason. Our principal made a point to remind us of how important we are as educators and how worthy we are and how much we matter because we were created BY GOD with a purpose. Yes, our principal talks about GOD IN SCHOOL! I cried.

I did end up leaving later in the day, because I needed to see my friend! I needed to hug her, not for her, but for me. She's doing great and her baby is doing good too considering the circumstances. She came into this world fighting and I am confident that she will continue fighting. She's strong. Her parents are strong. Her family is strong. When you're surrounded by strength, you in turn are strong.

Norah Hope- 1lb 4oz- 17 weeks premature 

Surrounded by her mommy and daddy's hands.

I said ALLLLL that to say this.... Don't give up hope! There's a lot of bad things in this world. Bad things happen all the time. Things that we don't expect wether it be a baby coming 17 weeks early or becoming a quadriplegic instantly in a car wreck. Life is what you make of it. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and hold you when you're not strong enough to stand on your own. But also remember to be that for others when they need it too! There's still good in this world. On this very emotional day, when I wasn't strong enough to hold back the tears, I was SURROUNDED by people who were holding me up. I'm blessed enough to have TWO groups of sweat sisters (who I haven't known long), my AMAZING co-workers, a really close group of girlfriends, a wonderful husband, an encouraging mom, and even people who literally stopped everything they were doing and prayed with me (out loud in front of everybody) and it wasn't even FOR ME, but they cared about what I care about. I realize not everyone has that, and I am counting every single blessing tonight. 

Life is short. Bad things happen. BUT there's still good in this world! 

Let Go

I've been wanting to get the words "let it go" tattooed on the inside of my wrist for a few years now to remind me to relax a little and stop letting worry rule my thoughts. Then that darn Frozen movie came out! You win Elsa. 

For the past year or so I've been in and out of a funk with my life. I feel like I'm right on the edge of something great in every aspect, but still just on the edge. And in one particular aspect I feel like I'm barely hanging on, but not on the side that's going to launch me into greatness, I'm barely hanging on to the edge that ends in doom and despair. The edge you can never come back from.

Then this song came on the radio and every single word spoke to me....

Hold it all together

Everybody needs you strong

But life hits you out of nowhere

And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting

Chained by your control

There's freedom in surrender

Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away

You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place

I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm

You'll wonder if I love you still

But if your eyes are on the cross

You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted

In time, you'll understand

I'm painting beauty with the ashes

Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes

In the storm is where you'll find Me

And where you are, I'll hold your heart

I'll hold your heart

Come to Me, find your rest

In the arms of the God who wont let go

Casting crowns- 

"Just be held"

The Journey

In my very first blog post, I mentioned how I would eventually share my weight loss journey with y'all. Well here ya go....

Growing up I never knew I was a fat kid. No one ever told me I was fat, nor did people make comments about how I looked or how much I weighed. Not that I knew about anyway. And maybe my parents were just really good at keeping me sheltered from that, who knows. But regardless, I spent most of my childhood blissfully unaware that I had a HUGE problem. 

All that came to an end the summer of 2002. My parents had recently divorced and, as part of what I thought was a custody agreement, I spent the night with my dad. Little did I know, the next morning I was going to fly to California, by myself, to spend the next 7 weeks at fat camp. I was 16 years old and had never flown alone before in my life, let alone to place I had no clue I was going. I was forcefully shoved into independence. 

Upon arriving at fitness camp (that's the nice way of saying it), I was wighed measured and had my first ever "before" pics taken. 

I weighed in at 235lbs that day, but according to my mom, I probably had really reached 250lbs at some point. All before I was 16 years old! Needless to say, that summer was rough. I had never done much physical activity in my life (other than swim team) and I didn't even own a pair of tennis shoes or workout clothes! Imagine doing workouts in denim shorts and sandals! 

At camp we worked out on average 8-10 hours per day, walked and average of 5-8 miles everyday (on top of the workouts), and had 4-star chefs making all our food. Everything was portioned and counted for us. Looking back, I had no idea how amazing that was. And in the end, I made new friends (a lot of which I still have today), I learned more than I could ever imagine about weight loss, nutrition, and behaviors (we also had to take nutrition and behavior modification classes at night), I got to experience a life that most people won't get to (trips to Disneyland, meeting Hallie Berry, etc), oh and I also lost 30lbs. 

 By the time in returned to Texas, seven short weeks later, I was a completely different person. Not only was I smaller (still not small, but smaller) but I was tan, confident, and a little more outspoken. California will do that to you ;) 

I kept with the new habits I created at camp and was able to maintain my weight loss throughout the year. By the time summer 2003 rolled around, I was BEGGING my dad to send me back! That summer was amazing as well and I lost 8 more pounds. And I earned a scholarship to go back in 2004 as a mentor (I still have my mentor t-shirt). 

The journey didn't end when camp was over in 2004 though. Since camp, it seems as though my journey has been throught the mountains. Ups, downs, highs, lows, you name it I've been through it! Or so it seems. I continued to keep my weight off, but during the fall of 2005, I went to Bible college and gained about 15 pounds. It took some time, but I was able to lose that weight again by getting back to the basics I had learned at camp. 

I became interested in exercise in 2007 with turbo jam videos that a close friend of mine was doing at home. We then starting going to a turbo kickboxing class together once a week. We fell in love with our instructor and followed her to a local gym. I then started doing a variety of classes that the gym offered. The weight continued to slowly come off. During this time I was also doing Weight Watchers. 

In 2010, I decided to kick up my routines, and start running. My New Years resolution for 2010 was to become a runner. I wanted to be one of those people who woke up every morning and ran 3 miles before the rest of the world woke up. To me that's what a runner was. So I started  the Couch to 5k program with my workout buddy and in February 2010 we ran our first 5k together. 

I ran a 5k every month until my back went out in June 2010. Once my back went out (turns out I have a bulging disk in my back) I too it easy on the workouts but kept doing Weight Watchers and continued to slowly lose weight. By the time I got married in October 2010 I had lost 65 pounds since that first weigh-in at fat camp. 

After the wedding, I quit Weight Watchers (life was rough living on one income while I was student teaching). I maintained my weight loss but by the time 2011 rolled around I was redy to see the scale go down again. And during a time of desperation, David and I did HcG. We took hormone drops and only ate 500 calories a day for 6 weeks! We hated each other during that time and had no social life whatsoever. But I managed to lose 20 pounds and David lost 40 pounds. And at the end we were happy with our results. 

I was at the lowest weight I've ever been at in my adult life (85 pounds less than that first fat camp weigh-in) and I felt fan-freaking-tastic! And really hungry. So what did we do? We started eating again. And we started gianing our weight back. I gained back 15 of the 20 pounds I'd lost. Devasted, I started working out again, and rejoined Weight Watchers. I maintained... And maintained... And maintained. 

In 2011, my running buddy convinced me to step up my workouts and change my focus from weight loss to fitness and we started training for my first half-marathon. We ran and ran and ran. And in February 2012 I ran my first half-marathon (it just so happened to be at the same event in which I rn my first 5k).

Since then, despite trying, I haven't given up running, even though I SUCK at it (seriously, I'm an awful runner). I've run 4 half-marathons total and this past February I ran my first full marathon. One day I'll write a blog about my love/hate relationship with running. I've also expanded my fitness interests to bike riding, obstacle courses, and sprint triathlons. 

So... LONG story short, my journey is far from over. I'm no where near where I want to be weight wise, but I have accomplished quite a bit since my fat camp days and I am thankful for the journey.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." 

 

Appreciated

So here is my long overdue "I have the best church ever" blog.....

Last night during Life Group, one of our discussion questions was, "when did your relationship with Christ begin?"  I thought to myself oh that's easy, and I began to share my testimony which went something like this (feel free to scroll down if you've already heard it) 😉

When I was 14 my parents decided to put me and my brother in private school.  The school we went to was a ministry of a little church close to our house. The church's youth pastor was also my science teacher (and this is no secret) I thought he was cute. Very cute. Anyway, one day in class he invited me to youth group service on Wednesday night. I of course agreed cause, duh, he was cute. A few weeks into the school year, the youth group had their first Friday night lock-in.  (If you're not familiar with a lock-in, it's basically a night when the youth group would stay up all night having fun, playing games, and of course we had a church service too.) I remember being a little bit nervous about the lock-in cause I am a very shy person by nature. Regardless, I went with the flow of the night and it was fun! We played games (I watched other people play games), we watched a skit, and then it was time for the sermon. A man by the name of Clark Boshier brought the message that night. He told a story about a football player who had everything and then got in a car accident and died. Then he asked, "where would you go if you left this building tonight and got in a car accident and died?" Very impactful. It was then and there that I asked Jesus into my heart and became a believer. The very next Sunday I started serving in the church's bus ministry and toddlers ministry, which lead to me being the toddler ministry leader for 11 years. 

I've shared that story so many times, it's almost like it's not even my story anymore. It's like I'm telling the story of the Three Little Pigs or something. I know every detail of the story but I don't really know who wrote it. So familiar! Then one of my friends in Life Group asked, "but when did your relationship with Christ begin?" HUH?! What?! Did she not just hear the story I told? Seeing the confusion on my face, she clarified "I know when you asked Jesus into your heart, but when did your RELATIONSHIP with Christ begin?" Hmmmm...... That got me thinking.

All that brings me to my original intention for this (long) blog post. Like I said before, I went to that church for 11 years. 11 YEARS! From the day after I got saved, I started serving in that church, 3 services a week, for 11 years! That's a long time! I did take 4 months off to go to Bible college, but other than that, I was serving with the toddlers, with Awanas or with the bus ministry. Kids. My passion, my God-given gift is working with kids. So I did that, wholeheartedly for 11 years. Sounds great right? Well it was great, or so I thought, because after all I was doing what God had set up for me to do. It wasn't until October of 2011 that my husband and I came to realize something HUGE. Neither of us had actually been to a church service in YEARS! For me it was pretty close to 11 YEARS. I had been going to church 3 times a week for 11 years but hadn't actually gone to more than a handful of services. That's like being born, and then only getting fed or spoken to or loved a few times. I had been given this amazing gift of salvation, but I didn't know what to do with it.

Once our eyes were opened, we began looking for a differnt church. We didn't know what we were looking for. We didn't know what was "good preaching" or "bad preaching," after all we'd only heard a handful of sermons (other than Bible college-but that's whole other story).  In fact, while we were "church shopping" I based almost everything on whether the church auditorium had the lights on or dimmed during service! I had no clue! And then we found Fellowship of the Parks in Keller.

It felt right (even though the lights were dimmed during service). David didn't fall asleep. You could walk through the foyer and not feel cliques or people staring you up and down looking at what you were wearing or how your hair was fixed wondering where you'd been the night before. Because in all honesty, none of that stuff matters to them. It didn't then, and it doesn't now. Shortly after visiting we joined the church; however, we didn't make the same mistake twice of jumping into ministry right away. We waited a year before we committed our time (and talents) to serving, and we didn't feel any pressure from anyone in that year. It was so refreshing to go to church and get fed, and grow in The Lord. After 11 years of giving giving giving, my very empty cup, was starting to get filled up, for the first time ever. 

Fast forward to the present. Recently David and I served on Easter morning, a time we both used to DREAD at our old church (because we would leave church angry and frustrated and spent- having given everything we had and getting nothing back). We taught 2 classes that morning. And while it was CRAZY busy, we then got to GO TO CHURCH. And not only that, but there was an appreciation lunch for all the volunteers that day. Now I know not every church can afford to do that for all their volunteers, but the fact that it is put into a budget somewhere, means A LOT! And it's not always about the food. In the 4 years that we've been at FOTP, I can't begin to tell you the number of times our pastor has written us thank you cards. A handwritten note is FREE. 

After Easter services, I was telling David how amazing our church is (like he didn't already know). It was so nice to be able to go to church on the most important day (to a believer) and rejoice and celebrate with other believers. We went 11 years without being able to go to an Easter service. We've felt more appreciated in the past 4 years at FOTP, than we ever did in the 11 years we served at our old church. We gave them everything we had and got nothing in return. So when did my relationship with Christ begin? When I started going to FOTP and was taught what it meant to have a relationship with Christ. It's not all about what you can do for God through your service. A relationship means both parties ACTIVELY working to build one another up. 

The goal of FOTP was and is, to reached the unchurched and those who have been burned by the church. We fit in that category and that's why FOTP is the perfect fit for us! If you haven't found a church home that fits, keep looking, it's out there. 

I Swear I Lived

So basically my church is awesome and God knew exactly what He was doing when He moved me there which makes God even more awesome (like the most awesome).... But anyway, our AMAZING worship team sang this song this morning at the end of service. Maybe it was the fact that the lyrics were being presented in a "prezi" way but it really spoke to me and goes along perfectly with the blog I wrote two days ago. No matter how hard life gets, I want to be able to say, at the end of the day, I swear I lived. God took time to make this life just for me, now it's my turn to live up to it! 

Go listen to this song! (Although, I'm pretty sure the worship leader sings most songs better than the original artists, so I'm sorry if you don't get the privledge to hear him sing it.)

Hope when you take that jump, you don't fear the fall

Hope when the water rises, you built a wall

Hope when the crowd screams out, they're screaming your name

Hope if everybody runs, you choose to stay

Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad

The only way you can know is give it all you have

And I hope that you don't suffer but take the pain

Hope when the moment comes, you'll say...

I, I did it all

I, I did it all

I owned every second that this world could give

I saw so many places, the things that I did

With every broken bone, I swear I lived

Hope that you spend your days, but they all add up

And when that sun goes down, hope you raise your cup

Oh, I wish that I could witness all your joy and all your pain

But until my moment comes, I'll say...

I, I did it all

I, I did it all

I owned every second that this world could give

I saw so many places, the things that I did

With every broken bone, I swear I lived

Oh [4x]

With every broken bone, I swear I lived.

With every broken bone, I swear I...

I, I did it all

I, I did it all

I owned every second that this world could give

I saw so many places, the things that I did

With every broken bone, I swear I lived.

Oh [4x]

I swear I lived. Ohhh [2x]

One Republic "I Lived" 

Another One Bites The Dust

Well here we are. Another year down. Yet another birthday gone by.

Milestones,like birthdays, get me thinking about life. As they do most people I'm sure. Things I've thought about today in particular: how tired I am, how no one should ever work on their birthday, how much my toes hurt, how boring my life is, blah, blah, blah.... 

But then I got to thinking about everything that has happen this year.  I mean we can get so caught up in our everyday, boring, routines that we forget about the amazing things that happen in our life. So forget about my toes (easier said than done), let's take a look back....

My 28th year:

My adventures this year included my first mission trips:

Questa, NM

And Uganda...

I also got to check a few things off my bucket list like: 

Stay at the resort where Dirty Dancing (the best movie of ll time) was filmed.

Visit wine country in CA- Napa and Sonoma.

Visit San Francisco and some pretty famous landmarks for 90's kids like myself (Full House)

I also accomplished some pretty great things too, like:

A 55 mile bike ride....

My 3rd and 4th half-marathons

 

As well as my first full marathon

I also took some time to look forward today. So with a new year starting today these are my goals and things I'm most excited about....

My 29th year

Goals: 

-buy my first house (hopefully it'll make me feel a little more grown up)

-complete my second sprint triathlon 

-run some more half marathons 

-ride a 100k bike event

What I'm most excited about:

-becoming a Godparent (seriously this consumes 90% of my thoughts nowadays)

-my second Questa mission trip

-buying a house

It's good to look back to remember all the things God has brought you though. It gives your future more of a purpose, I think. But looking forward, I just keep reminding myself that "life's like an hourglass glued to the table" and we can only make tomorrow better than today. 

 

My Best Friend's Baby

Let me start off by saying... I love kids but I don't actually want kids. I know that might sound strange coming from a person who is around little people 6 days a week (by choice), but the thought of actually having my own kids has never really been on my list of "Things to Do." Don't worry my husband is (almost) completely on board with me. 

However... my best friend (soul mate, sister, other half) has been desperately trying to get pregnant for about 2 years now. And while I don't understand the super strong desire to have children, I understand her. I understood when I got a phone call at 6:00 in the morning and only heard sobs on the other end, knowing it was yet another "negative" pregnancy test. I understood that all I really needed to do was cry with her (cause what else can you do).  I understood the importance of driving her to a doctor's appointment just so she didn't have to think about how to get to the office, on top of everything else. Bottom line is.... we get each other. She is my person.

So... when I get a text saying "Don't freak out, and don't tell anyone but...*and a picture of a positive pregnancy test*" I definitely understood that I should go to the nearest bathroom and freak out as quietly as possible so no one hears me! Thankfully it was a single bathroom cause you better believe I called as fast as my shaky hands would allow. What I heard on the other end sounded much like the sobs I heard the morning of the "negative test" but these sobs were full of fearful "what if's..."I assured her that no matter what the "what if..." we (her family) will be there! 

After taking another test to confirm, she called me to confirm and that's when I lost it.  I've never wanted something, for someone else, so much in my life, and now in two words it was happening! It's funny because up until that moment, I would imagine that moment and cry, and now it was happening! I drove straight to her house and as soon as I saw her I lost it again. I haven't cried that hard in a LONG time. But in a way I also felt like the Grinch (just hear me out) cause I feel like my heart grew three sizes that day. In a matter of days, I've gone from a person who wasn't too terribly interested in babies to, I've never loved anything more.... AND IT'S NOT EVEN MY KID!!! I can't imagine being pregnant myself! Lol. 

I am so excited to go on this journey with you, even if it's just to hold your hand, and I can't wait to meet you Baby C. I just hope I can live up to all my Godmotherly expectations ;)

 

The Sun's Up, A New Day's Begun

Last week I was driving to work, a little later than normal, when I noticed (amongst the *awful* metroplex traffic and construction) that the sun was just about to rise over the horizon. 

When I went to bed the night before, I fell asleep to the sound of rain pounding on my window. The earlier part of the week had been very ho-hum and ordinary, nothing special.  And now here I was looking through my window at very crisp skies with a few lingering clouds at the sun coming up over the horizon. 

Everyone seems to be in a hurry in the city. Rush here. Rush there. No one is ever going fast enough. I am never going fast enough (trust me, I still hear your car horn even if I don't speed up to your pace).  I wondered in that moment how many other people saw the sun rise. How many people took 5 seconds of their morning commute to appreciate it's greatness. 

It got me thinking... sometimes God puts these excruciating (at the time, to us) trials in our lives. We gripe and complain about them (guilty), we try to rush through them (guilty again), we pray that they go away and stay away (yep still guilty). But then once they're over, we rush back to life as we knew it before the trial. Maybe things are a little clearer. Maybe things have changed ever so slightly. Maybe our whole world has crumbled and fell, leaving us with nothing. But no matter what happens, we get back to a new "normal" or the old "normal" and we forget sometimes to stop and look at the sun.

I think of people who have been in the most unfortunate of natural circumstances (fires, earthquakes, floods, tsunamis, tornadoes, etc) {Ok maybe I think about it WAY more than I should.} No matter how long the crisis lasts, no matter how long it's dark and cloudy, the sun ALWAYS comes up again. It may be days, it may be minutes, but it ALWAYS comes up.

So, seeing that sunrise last week on my way to work, sparked a new sense of hope in my life.  I feel like I've been under a big dark, scary cloud for a long time now, and in that moment (Thank You God for that moment) I finally saw the sun! The sun rise is a very hopeful thing, don't take it for granted. 

(This was clearly not the sunrise I saw but I could wake up to this everyday.)

INSPIRATION? UMMM.... NO.

Well helloooo there! New Year's resolution #9862- Start a blog... AGAIN

So I joined this health and fitness challenge group on Facebook to kick the year off right, and one of the first things that I was "challenged" to do, was name my fitness inspiration.  INSPIRATION? Huh? No. No no one popped into my head so I did what any other natural born introvert does and I waited for someone else to answer first.  People started posting like crazy! Most of them naming infomercial fitness personalities or stars of their favorite weight loss shows.  Some mentioned people they knew personally who had lost tons of weight by blinking three times and standing on their heads naked. But seriously... the majority of the people in this group were inspired by people who had lost a lot of weight (50-100 pounds) in  relatively short amount of time (1-2 years) by making a few changes to their habits (drinking more water, exercising more, etc). Blah, blah, blah....

I recently had an acquaintance of mine lose a lot of weight (100 pounds or something like that).  It took them roughly 2 years and all they did was drink more water and start running, or so they made it seem.  This person will tell you that it was a struggle and it didn't happen overnight, and they had "hard days." Losing weight isn't easy. DUH! But this person will also tell you they LOVE working out and running is "so much fun!" And if they can do it, you can too! Blah, blah, blah...

Kudos to them, but I'm sorry that is not inspirational to me AT ALL!!! In fact, it kind of infuriates me. Show me someone who has *genuinely* struggled to lose 30 pounds. Like it has taken them more than 3 years to lose 30 pounds while they worked their butt off and ate perfectly. Someone who has done everything in their power to change everything about themselves in order to be a better person despite setbacks and not losing anything for long periods of time (not a month-long plateau). Someone who has risen above all of lives challenges and lost the weight anyway. THAT will inspire me! 

I finally commented on the challenge group and said "I honestly have not met or heard of anyone who has struggled the way I have (with the results I've gotten). I am my own inspiration." One day (soon) I'll post my story on here, but until then I'm just going to keep on keeping on, and keep on looking for that inspiration.